“ I have done it! I have slain the mighty demon,” said Vali. “ I am the mightiest being in all the land! Nothing can stand in my way! I can finally return home! I have missed my family very much. It will be good to see my brother’s face again.” Vali traveled day and night until he finally reached the entrance to where he had chased the great demon, Mayavi, underground. To Vali surprise the entranced had been blocked! Vali yelled, “ how could my own brother betray me!? I have never wronged him in anyway! I shall annihilate him from this very existence!” Vali burst through the entrance with the anger of a raging bull. Nothing could stop him from having his revenge on his brother.
Vali arrived back at his city in no time. He burst through the doors of his palace and yelled, “brother come fight me for my throne! If you think that a punny rock could stop me from returning you are sadly mistaken!” Vali brother, Sugreeva, arrived in the throne room ecstatic to see his long lost brother. Vali saw his brother and proceed to grab him and throw him around the room. He had no problem overpowering Sugreeva. Nothing Sugreeva said made a difference to Vali. Vali was in a bloodlust rage, and the only thing that would satisfy it was killing his brother. “How could you Sugreeva? I trusted you! You tried to deny me returning to my throne, now I will end your life,” said Vali. Sugreeva was able to slip out of Vali’s grasp just at the last second, and Sugreeva began to run.
Vali raced after Sugreeva shouting, “no matter where you go brother I will find you! I will chase you to the end of time if that is what it takes for me to get my revenge! You shall have no peace in this life as long as I am alive.” Sugreeva knew of one place that he would be safe. It was upon Mt. Matanga that Sugreeva was able to find escape his brother. Vali knew better than to come upon this mountain for it would spell certain doom for him. “You will come down from that mountain one day brother, and upon that day I will kill you for your treachery!”
Author’s Note-I can really relate this part of the story in The Ramayana about Vali and his brother Sugreeva. I think the reason I relate to it is because I have a brother and there has been a few times that we have gotten into an argument from a misunderstanding. I think all siblings at some point have had this happen to them. I think that it is a common topic in many literatures for siblings to fight. I decided to tell this story from Vali view. I thought that it would be interesting to see how it felt to be on the other side. Since it is just assumed that Vali is such a bad person I wanted to write so that he had a voice since in the story we don’t hear his side. I had a tough time making this story flow really well because I wasn’t sure on how I wanted Vali to be perceived. He is a very easy person to not like because of what Sugreeva told in the stories. I kept up with the story in the fact that Sugreeva was never able to tell Vali what had really happened, but Vali jumped to conclusion without allowing Sugreeva the opportunity to explain himself.
.jpeg)
Mighty Vali. Source
Bibliography
Story retold on pgs. 92-94.
Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana: A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic.
A traditional rendering of Vali from Wikipedia
Hi Shane! I really like the approach of this character that you took. I have spent so much of my time focusing on Rama and Ravana that it is refreshing to look at a different aspect of The Ramayana. I too can relate to arguing with my brother (although I am a girl). It is kind of sad that siblings fight when they should be nice since they are family!
ReplyDeleteShane, I liked your idea for this storytelling post and I thought you did a good job at executing it. I liked that you included more dialogue and the internal thoughts of Vali when he saw that Sugreeva had taken his throne (although, he misunderstood the situation). I thought you did a good job at coming up with adaptation concept and executing it. I also think the picture you included gave me a good visual of what Vali looked like.
ReplyDeleteIn order to make your characters more real and liven them up, I think you could have developed them a bit more through the dialogue and through description. I liked the dialogue you did include, but I thought there could be more in order to flush out the characters and the situation that they were placed in. It also would have been great to include more information about the setting and how long Vali had been trapped, which gives way to being more understanding of Vali and his happiness for finally slaying the demon.
I also suggest breaking up the paragraphs a little bit more to make it easier for the audience to read, especially since there is dialogue included. Another suggestion I have is to just do a simple proofreading for grammar and spelling. But overall, I thought you did a great job writing this story and coming up with a great concept! Good job :)
Interesting story! I liked how you focused on Vali instead of Rama and Ravana. It is also pretty unique that you told the story from Vali's point of view instead of a narrative perspective. You also did a great job of showing the tensions between the two brothers. I can somewhat relate to this because I have a little brother who annoys me all the time. Although as we grow older, we tend to get a long more but still call each other names. Overall, your story was good and I liked how you wrote it in paragraphs which made it easier to read. I wished I had done paragraphs too. Your story is amazing!
ReplyDeleteHi Shane,
ReplyDeleteI meant to respond at some point on your post to my blog. Hope things are going well and your semester is great also!
Ok, here is my feedback:
Both your format and function (link under your picture) work with your story. Also, I like how you portray Vali’s anger towards Sugreeva. The dialogue and word choice in your story really helped portray that anger. Also, I like hearing this story from Vali’s point of view instead of Sugreeva’s. I think it’s always fun write from a different perspective. Plus, it helps add creativity to your piece.
Suggestions that I have are to double check your punctuation. I only caught a couple mistakes, so it wasn’t terrible (second and third paragraphs). Also, maybe try and transition between your paragraphs a little smoother. I have a really hard time doing this and it takes me pretty long to figure out what sounds the best so that the paragraphs relate, but are still their own. Lastly, maybe add which story you are recreating to your story title. You did a great job illustrating in the story that it was from Vali’s perspective and I didn’t need the title to tell that.
Great job!